Mirandamas
by InvisibleBlade
Summary: " Well hello again my dear chums. What an imponderable joy to see that you're still awake." - Just a short scene taking place within the last episode of series two. Gary/Miranda Centric.


**DISCLAIMER: I do not own **

**A/N: I know that a Christmas scene has already been done in the Miranda archive on this site but I wanted to put my own little spin on what I thought could happen. This is just a short scene that I think could have taken place within the night of the last episode in series 2.**

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" Well hello again my dear chums. What an imponderable joy to see that you're still awake. Hope you weren't staying up for a certain someone - oooh you're quite a cheeky one, aren't you? Yes you - the one that's looking right at the screen. " Miranda is looking rather sleepy, ruffled up bed hair portrays her just woken up state, and she has a dressing gown pulled around her tightly. She's holding a cup of steaming hot chocolate in her hands, and is sitting behind the desk to her little joke shop.

" You might be wondering as to why I'm here and not snuggled up in bed. Well as all of you know it is a rather unusual occurrence for me to be awake at this - lets just say very early hour. And that's true on most nights but tonight is different. Tonight is the night before Christmas. Christmas eve! Now my fellow chum if you're not aware of why this particular Christmas is so special, then I shall inform you. This is the first Christmas that I will have spent with friends. No mum and her carefully planned chart, no dad's musical socks and morbid weather reports, and most importantly, no hearing the' what I call ' phrase, or the words such and fun in the same sentence. What's that I hear you say?"

She's now cocking her head, a hand held around her ear, " That sounds brilliant? Yes well I suppose it really does, doesn't it? There's one problem though - well I wouldn't call it a problem - more of a rather awkward situation. Do you remember Gary? Hot chef that I always make a dreadful cock of myself when he's around? Yup that's the one -" She sighs, sips on her hot chocolate, before resuming speaking, " Since there's not much room in my tiny upstairs flat we were sharing a bed. Something at an earlier point in my life I would have only dreamt of - but things have changed since then. One - he's married, and two we've only just patched up our friendship and I have the habit of doing rather embarrassing things in my sleep. I can't help it - things happen - wind passes - snores break free - and there was already one breast clap. Heaven forbid there to be another breast clap. No, " She's shaking her head now and is looking incredibly nervous, " I'd rather wait down here till morning than risk anything. Even though I will be terribly cranky in the morning. Ah well, better than farting in a shared bed - especially since Gary is said bed sharer. Just between me and you," She leans forwards, using her finger to beckon, " I still have, " She lowers her voice, " Sexual," and then backing up a bit and returning to her normal way of speaking she says, " feelings for Gary. But that can never happen - I mean he lied to me - and we're friends - just friends. We can't go back there. No matter how much I want to. He's still married to Tamara. So it can never happen. "

It was as that moment that the sound of the shop stairs creaking can be heard. Miranda's eyes have widened to the size of saucepans. She'd been almost certain that no one would truly notice her disappearance. Glancing around in a moment of pure panic she tries to find a safe hiding spot. It was a rather unsuccessful attempt though as she settled for crouching behind the desk. Who could it be? She was sure that Gary had been fast asleep, and Stevie, though highly protective of their small business, probably wouldn't be here at this time of hour either. Tilly was a deep sleeper so that was a no. Clive? Maybe, but what would Clive be doing up now anyway?

" Miranda." It's Gary. His voice is so soft that it's almost inaudible. He's glancing round the shop with a deep set of worry carved into his features.

Miranda can't help but take a sneak peak of the gorgeous chef. Even the sight of him in the dark sends her mind into a whirlwind state. Her legs are barely able to sustain her weight and she, as per usual it seems, crashes to the floor.

" Miranda?" Gary's now looming over her from the other side of the counter.

" Oh, hi Gary!" She exclaims chirpily.

" Hi- um, what exactly are you doing?" He asks her, staring down at her in amusement.

" Me? I was just checking for - cat burglars!" She frowns, shakes her head, and mouths the words, " Cat burglars? "

" Cat burglars? " Gary questions her in disbelief, laughing lightly.

" Yes, " She lets out a low hum, " Quite common in this area. Very sneaky cat burglars. In fact - how do I know you're not a cat burglar?" She gets up and walks round to where Gary's standing and pokes him.

" Me?" He smiles, stepping closer. From the short gasp Miranda gives off it's clear that he's having his usual effect on her.

" Yes you." She wobbles slightly, and is very nearly on the verge of falling over again.

He stabilizes her by wrapping a arm around her waist. This in turn caused the space between the two to lessen, " Gary -" She exhales deeply.

" And what would a cat burglar look like exactly?" He raises a bemused eyebrow.

" I wouldn't know - haven't caught one yet. Like I said, very slippery things, cat burglars." She's by now bright red in the face and shifting awkwardly in what little space is left between them, " Gary what are you - I mean - we're friends - and you're married." He's grinning from ear to ear and he points upwards to where a large amount of mistletoe is hanging, " Aww Gary I really want to " She looks as though she's about to cave in but then decides not to, " - but you're still married!" She exclaims.

" Not any more. Tamara's gone back to Hong Kong, and we've agreed on a divorce. It's just a small technicality of signing some papers. " He looks at her with big puppy dog eyes, he's leaning in a little closer, " Miranda. I wasn't truthful with you before because - well because - " He grips onto her hand tightly.

" Because?" She trails off.

" I think I might just love you and that scares the hell out of me. Because I've never loved anyone before." He looks at her for her reaction.

Her reaction is one of shock and joy, " You love me? Do you really mean that?" She asks him.

" I really do, yeh."

" That's good because I think that - I love you too." The words wriggle from her tongue and her lips are inches away his.

"Please, can you find it in your heart to forgive me? I knew as soon as I got back that offering to marry Tamara so she could have a green card was the biggest mistake I could have ever made. Seeing you with Danny - I was jealous - I wanted to be the one kissing you. I know I hurt you, and I get that you want to move on from me, but please can you give us another chance. It is Christmas after all." He awaits her answer patiently.

" I think that I could be persuaded to give us another chance. And like you said it's Christmas." she whispers breathily, glancing up at the mistletoe.

His face practically splits in two from the pure happiness he's feeling and his and Miranda's lips finally clash in a battle of fiery passion, and past sexual tension.

This was by far the most perfect Christmas Miranda has ever had.

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**Thanks x**


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